


love me (even when i lose my head)

by herinterface



Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Flash AU, M/M, Mutual Pining, Secret Identity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 20:20:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14244993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herinterface/pseuds/herinterface
Summary: Bram Greenfeld is the fastest man alive.





	love me (even when i lose my head)

**Author's Note:**

> title from Guillotine by Jon Bellion, cuz i'm kind of obsessed with that song right now. this is a flash au where bram is the flash (not kid flash) and simon is iris west. garrett is cisco, but he's barely in this. you probably need to know at least the premise of the flash to get this. enjoy! <3

All Bram hears is “meta attack on main street” and he’s in his suit and running.

 

Garrett’s relaying more information to him as he goes, and he catches a “Simon” and almost falters (which is never good when you’re breaking 500 mph). “What was that?”

 

“The meta is asking for Simon by name. It’s being broadcast on the news.”

 

Well, it’s never a bad time to break your personal record. Bram pushes all that he’s feeling and thinking— mostly “ _Shit, shit, shit, shit,_ ” at the moment— into his feet and barely breathes. When he skids to a halt as he catches sight of the meta, he catches sight of something even worse.

 

Simon. Standing in the middle of the street, arms out in a placating motion, like he’s trying to talk down a fucking meta. Well, Bram never said his best friend was smart.

 

“Listen, man, I empathize, I really do, it’s just that I really don’t know the guy. I run a little fan blog. I use pretty words to relay what other people have seen. I’ve never even seen the guy myself. Now, if we could all just calm down, maybe talk about this over a cup of coffee—“

 

The meta moves his hand in the slightest motion upwards, as if to use his powers against Simon, and Bram’s moving. Before the meta’s arm is fully stretched out in front of him, Simon and Bram are on the rooftop of a distant building.

 

Simon’s eyes are wide, and he’s kind of stumbling around like he’s dizzy and off balance, which is to be expected. Bram vibrates his face so that Simon will only see a blur. Sure, he wears a mask, but this is his childhood best friend, and they’re about three feet away from each other. He’s not risking it.

 

When Simon’s brain seems to finally catch up to him, and he sees who’s right next to him, he breathes out an incredulous laugh.

 

“The Flash. Oh my god. I run a blog about you. I’m, like, your biggest fan. Well, enthusiast. Sounds less lame. I can’t believe this is happening. You saved my life. Sorry I’m rambling, please just attribute everything I say to shock since I just almost died. But I didn’t, because you saved me. Thanks again for that.”

 

Bram has to work very hard to keep himself from laughing. Simon can’t know who he is, and that would give him away very quickly. He vibrates his vocal cords to distort his voice before speaking. “You’re welcome, sir.”

 

“Simon! Simon Spier. You can Google me. Actually, then you’d find my blog about you, so maybe you shouldn’t. It’s probably embarrassing. Do you Google yourself? Do superheroes read their own Wiki pages? I mean, you probably don’t care to, since you already know everything about you and everyone else is just speculating. But maybe you do read blogs and shit, see what people think about you? Is that presumptuous? I’m so sorry, please don’t punch me, I’ll shut up.”

 

“It’s okay, Simon. Shock and all that.”

 

Simon laughs nervously. “See? Knew you would understand. Thanks a lot for saving me. I wish I could repay you. I’ll write a glowing review on my blog, if you’d like.”

 

“Sure. I can’t wait to read it.” Shit. Did that give him away? Or maybe he just sounds like a curious superhero who will check out a fan’s blog and that’s it. Relax, Bram, there’s no way he knows. “Well, I have to go. Central City needs me.” Bram suddenly becomes very aware that he left a dangerous meta in the middle of the street. Simon seems to cloud his judgment sometimes.

 

“Sure! Yeah,” Simon says. “Gotta go be a hero.” He laughs awkwardly.

 

“Exactly.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

They both still stand there, looking at each other.

 

“Well-“ “Bye then!” They say at the same time. Bram waves awkwardly and flashes away.

 

Well, that was a disaster, but it could have been worse. Now all he needs to do is just never interact with Simon as the Flash again. Easy enough, right?

 

-

 

“Bram, you will not believe what just happened to me. Like, seriously, you will shit yourself. Also, I need you to pick me up because I’m not totally sure where I am.”

 

Bram has just finished locking the meta away in the particle accelerator when he gets the call from Simon. It seems a little delayed, like maybe Simon just stood there on that roof freaking out about what just happened and forgot to notice that he was on the roof of a random building. It’s been about five minutes.

 

“How do you not know where you are?” Bram asks, feigning ignorance.

 

“That’s part of the story! You get it when you’re here. Okay, I’m on the ground now, and I’m on the street, and... 7th and Park. Come get me.” And then Simon hangs up.

 

Bram shakes his head fondly and heads for his car.

 

Simon immediately starts running his mouth again as soon as he gets the passenger side door open and gets in. “Holy shit. You won’t believe who I just met.”

 

“The president,” Bram guesses.

 

“Ew. No. Try again.”

 

“Seatbelt,” he reminds him, not for the first or even the twentieth time. Simon obliges. “Uhhh, Jake Gyllenhaal.”

 

“If I had met Jake Gyllenhaal, why would I be here instead of at city hall getting eloped?”

 

Bram laughs. “That’s kind of presumptuous.” And then he thinks, shit. Now he definitely gave himself away. He just parroted the word Simon said to him, to the Flash, just fifteen minutes ago.

 

Simon doesn’t notice. “Shut up. I met the Flash, Bram. The Flash!”

 

“Wow,” he says, trying to seem surprised. Simon must be really distracted, because he’s a terrible actor.

 

“He saved my damn life. Oh, also, I almost died. Maybe I should have led with that.”

 

“You almost _died_?!” That one’s easy; he just shoves all his real disbelief and slight fear into that one.

 

“Yeah, yeah, some angry meta wanted to get to the Flash, and he thought me and him were buddies or something. I don’t know. You know how villains are.”

 

“I really don’t,” Bram laughs. Before he realizes it, he’s pulling into a parking spot at Jitters. He didn’t even ask if Simon wanted to go, but he’s getting out of the car without a complaint. Maybe he just knows his best friend. “Is it because you run that blog?”

 

“Yeah. Kinda crazy that my little blog is making waves like that. I got my very own targeted attack! That’s awesome!” Simon says excitedly, holding the door open for Bram.

 

“Maybe we need to rethink your definition of the word ‘awesome’, Si,” Bram chides, getting in line with him. He already knows exactly what drink Simon’s in the mood for.

 

“Anyway, so I’m trying to talk the big bad guy down, and it’s obviously not working, because, you know, _evil_ , and then suddenly I’m on a rooftop. Like a damn movie. And there he is.”

 

“The Flash,” Bram finishes for him.

 

“It was crazy. I was still trying to get my balance, what with all the near death experience and the dizziness from being basically teleported, and all I could think was, ‘If I throw up in front of a superhero, my life will be over.’”

 

“Two Flashes,” Bram orders at the register. He guesses he should consider himself lucky that the drink they named after him isn’t half bad. He pays for the both of them. Simon is too distracted to notice, though he would usually offer to pay.

 

“He was all, ‘You’re welcome, sir,’ like a total gentleman. Then he said something about having to go save the world and he left. Isn’t that crazy?”

 

“Pretty crazy,” Bram says, handing Simon his coffee and walking to an empty table nearby. They both sit across from each other.

 

“You don’t believe me?”

 

Bram realizes he hasn’t been keeping up appearances of looking surprised. Simon is mistaking it for him thinking it’s all made up. “Of course I do! Sorry, it’s just hard to process. You met the guy. You write about him based off of other people’s word of mouth and now you have your own story.”

 

It works. Simon is smiling again. “Yes! I’m the luckiest guy in the world. And I kind of promised him an article about the encounter so I’ll have to be up late working on that. Gotta make it perfect. He’s gonna read it. Oh my god, my life is amazing.”

 

Bram giggles, takes a sip of his coffee. “I’d like to think your life was already amazing.”

 

“I mean, sure, but now my superhero knows my name. Wow.”

 

Bram tries not to look too flattered at ‘my superhero’. Hearing Simon talk about the Flash— _him_ — like this without even suspecting is kind of a surreal experience. It’s giving him a rush. He almost forgets to feel scared out of his mind.

 

“Anyway, sorry for making it all about me. But I deserved it today,” Simon jokes. “How’s your day?” He finally drinks some of his coffee, which must be lukewarm now.

 

“Oh, you know. Boring. Nothing like meeting a superhero. I was just hanging with Garrett.”

 

“How’s work?” Bram knows Simon is probably feeling a little guilty about taking all the attention, and is now trying to focus on him for a while. He’s thoughtful like that.

 

“It’s work. We’ve been getting more and more meta cases, though.”

 

Simon’s eyes light up a bit. He’s too predictable. Or maybe that’s just a side effect of knowing someone for eighteen years. “Yeah?” He tries to sound nonchalant.

 

And Bram indulges him, tells him a bit about some of the crazy stories. And if he sprinkles in some anecdotes that the police didn’t even deal with, well. Who’s gonna tell?

 

-

 

Simon’s life is threatened directly for the second time a week later. Two too many times. The amount of times Simon’s life should be in danger is less than zero. Bram’s heart is gonna give out at this rate.

 

It’s nighttime, and Bram is just scouring the city waiting for the team to find any trouble for him to stop. Abby’s voice rings through his com, which means something’s wrong. Usually, Garrett will just tell him what’s happening directly, in plain terms. He’s good with that. But he sics Abby on him when he needs someone to deliver the message... more gently. When he wants to avoid Bram going into panic mode. Which of course, ends up being counterproductive, since now it’s kind of a Pavlovian response to start panicking when Abby’s voice comes into his ear.

 

“Bram, honey,” she placates.

 

“What is it? Tell me,” he demands, no time for her soothing. He’ll apologize later.

 

“It’s Simon. At CCPN.”

 

And he’s off, running to Central City Picture News, where Simon currently works. He’s only just started working there. He was so excited to land that job, so excited to be able to reach a larger platform, get paid for writing about the Flash. And now he’s in danger there. Fuck.

 

He doubles back to STAR Labs to grab a pair of power-dampening cuffs, so he can deal with this quickly, and heads back in the direction of CCPN.

 

When he reaches the building, he stays in speed mode and takes in the scene around him while everyone is frozen (or really, just in very slow motion). It’s night, so the space isn’t very crowded. There’s about ten employees spread around the place in various states of distress: some crouching under desks, some plastering themselves to the nearest wall, and some just frozen standing still. There’s the meta: one he doesn’t recognize, so he doesn’t know her power. He doesn’t care to find out, either. And in the center of the room, hands up in surrender, eyes wide and clearly afraid, is his Simon.

 

Goddamn it. So this is another targeted attack. Someone who wants to get to the Flash, and tries to go through Simon to get there. Bram is the reason Simon keeps getting put into these situations. Simon could... He could be killed, and it would be entirely Bram’s fault. He shakes himself out of that line of thought. He can pity himself later; he needs to get Simon to safety.

 

Securing the meta is easy enough; he has cuffs and is much faster than her, so it’s a done deal. He runs her outside to where police cars are waiting to intervene now that her powers are neutralized. He runs back inside and takes Simon back to the same rooftop he did a week ago, when his life was _last_ threatened. God.

 

He leaves Simon in the center of the rooftop and keeps his far distance, sitting on a high ledge where a street light behind him should obscure his face. He still distorts his voice.

 

“Simon.”

 

“Whoa! Hey, man! You saved my life again! Thanks for that,” Simon says, too damn casual. It’s like he doesn’t even realize the gravity of what’s happening to him. He’s marked a big red target on himself for every meta in Central City to see. Every meta with a vendetta against the Flash, aka every single evil one who has or will hurt or kill people, knows exactly who Simon is and will hunt him down for information. Bram needs to make Simon understand. 

 

“Writing about me is putting you in danger. You need to stop.”

 

“I don’t want to. I like writing about you.”

 

“Do you like being alive, too? Because an angry meta who wants to get to me might end that.”

 

Simon’s not even fazed. “It’s either me or someone else will take the job of being the Flash reporter. At least you know me, and you’re looking out for me.”

 

“Simon. This is serious. I won’t always be there. You could die. You need to stop. Or else,” Bram tries.

 

Simon blinks. “Is that supposed to be menacing? You’re like a golden retriever puppy trying to be scary.” Well, he didn’t think it would work.

 

“I’m a superpowered man who takes down very strong people on a regular basis. Maybe you should be scared of me,” Bram reasons.

 

Simon just stares. Crosses his arms. “Yeah, no.”

 

Bram looks away to hide his smile. Simon is an idiot. An unbearable, lovable idiot. He would die if anything ever happened to him.

 

“Simon. Tell me what to do here. An innocent man might die because of me.”

 

“I think, and this is my completely unbiased opinion on this hypothetical situation, that you should respect the innocent man’s autonomy to write about what he wants, especially since it’s his job. Extra especially because he wants to do it, and he thinks that trumps the possibility of gruesome death by meta. However, maybe this innocent man wouldn’t mind it so terribly if you continued to protect him. He is, after all, an incredibly helpless, defenseless, innocent man.”

 

Is Simon... flirting with him? With the Flash? Is he out of his mind? Seriously, Simon is an idiot, and Bram’s got half a mind to lock him up in the particle accelerator until he starts thinking clearly. “Of course I’ll do that. I’ll always protect you.” Shit. That definitely sounded too fond. “That’s my job, too.” Better. “It would be nice if you made my job easier for me though.”

 

Simon tilts his head condescendingly. “Mmm... Not a chance.”

 

Bram sighs with extreme exasperation. Well. What’s he gonna do?

 

“Let me make you a deal,” Simon proposes.

 

“What is it?”

 

“In order to ensure that I’m fully safe and protected, which you’re very concerned about, we can... meet up. Right here, on this rooftop. Whenever you want. Give each other updates.” Now, finally, Simon looks a little unsure. Almost... shy. Which is not a word he thought was in Simon’s vocabulary. What is going on?

 

“Updates?”

 

“Yeah. And maybe I can get a few statements for my blog. We can do our first interview right now. What’s your name?”

 

Bram laughs. “I can’t tell you that.”

 

“Worth a shot,” Simon says, smiling. Oh, man. “So? How about it? Every... let’s say Thursday night?”

 

“My schedule is kind of unpredictable. How about, I’ll let you know when to show up?”

 

“Ooh. Taking charge. Okay, Mister Flash. You let me know when to show up, and I’ll be right here.” Simon gestures to his spot.

 

Bram doesn’t really know how he’ll communicate with Simon while keeping his identity intact, but he’ll figure something out. “It’s a deal.”

 

“Great.”

 

And then they just stare at each other, smiling. Neither of them has anything else to say, but neither of them really wants to leave. It’s a comfortable silence, though— one that two strangers probably shouldn’t share so easily. The spell is broken by a voice coming through Bram’s com. “Bram? Is Simon okay?”

 

Bram looks back at him, as if to check. “Yeah.”

 

“Good. Robbery in progress,” Garrett says, getting right to it.

 

“On it.” The com goes off, and he turns his attention back to Simon.

 

“Duty calls,” Simon says, snatching the corny phrase right out of his mouth.

 

“Always,” he replies. “I’ve got to go. I’ll be in touch.”

 

Simon chuckles. “‘In touch’. Like we’re businessmen emailing each other.”

 

Bram laughs in return. “Good night, Simon.” And then he’s gone.

 

-

 

They figure out a system. It’s not too strict: mainly it’s Bram sneaking (speeding) into Simon’s place of work, and leaving a message at his desk. Sometimes, it’s a cryptic “ _8PM_ ” scrawled on a Post-It note, and sometimes he opens a document on Simon’s computer and types something like, “ _How’s Saturday, 9:30? —Blue_ ” quickly before Simon gets back from the bathroom. ‘Blue’ referring to the color of his Flash suit, of course. He thinks it’s clever.

 

And Simon always meets him. He suspects that Simon even cancels plans or leaves work early to meet him, which is ridiculous. He’d understand if Simon couldn’t make it to a meeting, what with the very random schedule Bram gives him. But, he reasons, he didn’t really give Simon a way of messaging him back to say something like, “I can’t make it tonight.” He’ll think of something, if it comes up.

 

They get ridiculously little accomplished at every ‘meeting’, so he’s not totally sure why he’s still setting them up. He just likes to talk to Simon, and Simon likes to talk to him. Well, they talk all the time anyway, but Simon doesn’t know that.

 

If Bram didn’t know any better, he’d say these meetings are less like meetings and more like... dates.

 

“I’m completely serious!” Simon says, laughing so hard there are tears in his eyes. Bram is right there with him. “She tried to act so surprised, like it was such a scandalous thing. Everyone was so quiet and just watching her, because we all knew. We were all just, like, waiting to see how far she would take it. And Greg was like, ‘No, Nancy, we have _footage_  of you stealing his lunch and throwing it away.’ And she didn’t say _anything_. She said _nothing_ , Blue! It was just completely silent for like three hours. Well, I’m exaggerating, it was two and a half.” Bram is still hysterical, clutching his stomach. “Then she says, I shit you not. ‘Hmm,’ and turns back to her computer and continues working.”

 

“No!”

 

“Yes! With the little shrug and everything. ‘Hmm.’” He reenacts what Nancy apparently did. “Then right back to writing an article about celebrity feet or whatever the hell she does.”

 

Bram is dying. Maybe the story isn’t even that funny, but Simon is so animated in how he tells a tale, voices and expressions and movements, like he’s always performing. It’s magical to watch, and makes every story hilarious. He could read the dictionary and make it interesting. Maybe a part of it is how in love with him Bram is. Every joke is hilarious when you’re in love.

 

Simon is just smiling and watching Bram laugh now. It probably sounds weird through the voice distortion, but he never complains. Doesn’t complain that Bram will only sit yards away from him, face shrouded in shadow like he’s damn Batman. He just sits down, sometimes with takeout, and starts talking to a masked stranger like they’re best friends. If only he knew.

 

When Bram finally catches a breath, he sees that Simon is still looking at him. There’s this unrecognizable look in his eyes. The one time he’d give anything to know what Simon is thinking is the one time he’s completely silent.

 

He feels it before he hears it. A tension in the ground, like the earth is unsettled beneath him. There are some parts to his power that he still doesn’t completely understand, but he knows when to trust an instinct. He taps his com. “Guys?”

 

“Yeah?” Garrett responds.

 

“Something’s happening. Scan the area for anything... weird.” He doesn’t feel the need to elaborate; Garrett always trusts him on things like this. He’s been right every time before.

 

“Scanning.”

 

Simon is still looking at him, but now he’s confused. “What is it?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Cool. Like ESP?”

 

“What?” Bram asks, distracted. It’s like he’s trying to reach out for it, find out what it is using pure telepathy.

 

“Extrasensory perception. Like a sixth sense?” Simon looks concerned now, but seemingly not at the prospect of a looming danger. More at the fact that Bram is worried, and that worries him.

 

“Uh, sure. Like that.” He jumps down from the ledge and looks over the edge of the rooftop, like he’ll be able to catch it just by looking.

 

“Bram! A bomb. I’ve reported it to the police,” Garrett says.

 

“Shit! Where?” Bram asks, frantic.

 

“The building is already empty; it’s an abandoned—“

 

“Where—?” He stops himself from yelling ‘Garrett’, remembering at the last millisecond that Simon is right there.

 

“According to your GPS: right underneath you.”

 

Bram slowly turns to face Simon in horror. Now, Simon looks truly afraid. He dives for Simon, running him as far as his legs can take him, only screeching to a stop when they're on the other side of the city in some alleyway.

 

He holds Simon by the shoulders, looking all over him like he got hurt somehow while Bram wasn’t looking. A visual search shows that, no, he’s being ridiculous, Simon is fine, and his heart slows by about one beat per minute. He sighs deeply, and Simon is still staring at him, completely lost.

 

“A bomb,” he explains. “The building has been abandoned for months. We’re the only people who are ever there. It can’t be a coincidence. Someone had to have known we were going to be there. Someone who wanted to kill me, and you would have been collateral damage.” He’s talking so fast now, he wonders if Simon can even understand him anymore. “Maybe someone saw a note I left you. We’ll have to investigate everyone you work with. Damn it, I should have been more careful.”

 

“Flash. Flash!” Simon interrupts, grabbing his arms and shaking him a little. “Relax. Breathe. We’re both fine, and no one got hurt.”

 

“How can you be so calm? You just almost died— _again_ — because of me. Because you want to write about me and talk to me for some fucking reason. Why? You don’t even know me. I’m a stranger who runs fast and wears a mask. Why are you willing to die for that?” He’s cut off in his rambling by Simon’s hands holding his face. His eyes wander all over his masked face before settling on his lips. Bram realizes what’s going to happen about a nanosecond before it does.

 

Simon kisses him, hard, like he’s pushing all of his feelings into it. Like he’s kissing someone he’s in love with. What the fuck. He’s in love with the Flash? On what goddamn grounds? He kisses back, but only because he’s too distracted to realize he shouldn’t. His common sense can catch up with him later; he’s kissing the man he loves.

 

When Simon finally pulls back what must be an entire minute later, he just looks at Bram. There. That look Bram saw earlier, on the rooftop.

 

It’s like Bram doesn’t even have control over his body anymore— he’s running off and into the night without another word.

 

-

 

The police found the bomb in time and safely defused it before it went off. They also found the guy who did it, apparently, because he was an idiot amateur who was still in the building when the cops got there. Some janitor at CCPN who wanted his fifteen minutes of fame, and thought he would get there by killing or seriously injuring the Flash. Turns out, he got there by being a total embarrassment and failing. Bram doesn’t really care. All he hears is, Simon is safe.

 

Simon might not want to hear from the Flash ever again, but at least he’s safe.

 

God, he just _ran off_. Simon was so brave and sweet and made the first move and Bram was a total coward. But can you really blame him? He loves Simon, sure, but Simon doesn’t love him. He loves an anonymous speedster he’s been talking to at nighttime rendezvous for months. As much as Bram likes to pretend he’s the Flash, he’s really not. He’s a scared forensic scientist who keeps his feelings locked up for almost two _decades_ , only finds the courage to be open with Simon when he’s hiding behind a mask. He’s been lying to Simon for over a year. He should have told him as soon as he got his powers, but he especially should have told him when they started talking several nights a week. When they started flirting. How did he let it get this far?

 

And now Simon is in love with a man who doesn’t exist. He’s gonna find out that his speedster isn’t some hot, brave guy who’s a lawyer or a doctor or some sexy profession, isn’t even an adorable, reserved artist or musician. He’s just his best friend. The same normal, boring guy he’s known since they were kids, who he has coffee with every Sunday morning, or more often if they can manage. The same guy he feels comfortable telling about all his boyfriends or dates, because he knows he’ll never see Bram that way. The same guy he stopped talking to about the Flash weeks ago, when he decided he wanted to keep his thing with the Flash a private, intimate thing that he didn’t want to share with Bram.

 

Bram is so stupid, so hopeless. He just hopes Simon doesn’t hate him forever when he confesses.

 

-

 

Bram doesn’t know what pulls him there, but he decides to go to the rooftop. Their rooftop. Maybe he wants to torture himself. He has some free time, why not reminisce on ruining the best thing to ever happen to him? It’s been a week. He hasn’t seen Simon since. Well, he has, but as Bram. Simon has just seemed... sad. Dimmed. He’s not nearly as excited and talkative as usual, and Bram finds himself having to kickstart conversations whenever they hang out, which _never_ happens. Simon always finds a way to fill in the silence. But not when he’s had his heart broken, apparently. God, he really fucked up.

 

His pity party comes to an abrupt halt when he reaches the rooftop and sees Simon sitting there already, looking introspective and listening to music.

 

He notices Bram out of the corner of his eye, pulls out his earbuds and stands up. “I was hoping I’d see you here.”

 

“You’ve been waiting?” Bram asks, walking closer. It’s probably very dangerous to be this close to him in broad daylight, but, well. Might as well knock out two birds with one stone now that he’s here.

 

“Whenever I have free time. Took you a while,” Simon says, not a hint of bitterness in his voice. This is almost crueler than if he would just yell at him.

 

“Sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. I read things wrong. It happens. I’m sorry I scared you off. Unless you’re a homophobe, in which case, fuck you, and I’m done writing about you.”

 

Bram laughs. Only his Simon would be so bold to a superpowered metahuman. “No, you didn’t read things wrong. I panicked.” Bram walks even closer. “I guess, as strong and brave as I try to be, I’m still scared of being open about who I am. Maybe it’s stupid, but. Who knows how Central City will react to its resident superhero being gay?”

 

“Fuck Central City. They don’t have to know,” Simon says indignantly.

 

“But isn’t that hiding? Being dishonest?”

 

“It’s not dishonesty— it’s just a guy not owing every detail of his personal life to a bunch of strangers. They don’t need to know who the guy that saves them every day makes out with in his free time.”

 

Simon makes a good point. As always. He blushes and looks down. “Makes out with?”

 

Now, Simon looks a little sheepish. “I mean. If that’s what you wanted.”

 

“Maybe I do.” Bram smiles. Simon makes him a little more courageous just by being in his presence. It’s like it’s contagious. Then reality settles in. He can’t do this to Simon, not when he’s still lying to him. Simon has fallen for a stranger - a masked man who puts on a facade of being so much braver than the guy he really is underneath. He’s been faking. Simon will be so disappointed, but he deserves to know the truth.

 

Bram walks closer, now just a few feet in front of Simon. “But first...” Here it goes. The moment when he loses his best friend, the man he loves, forever. And he’ll completely deserve it. He reaches his hand up, slowly, drawing it out and making it even more painful, and pulls his mask up and off of his face. He keeps his eyes to the ground, awaiting Simon’s scrutiny. He can’t even look him in the eyes.

 

When too many moments pass without a word from Simon, he forces himself to look up.

 

And Simon’s... smiling? No jawdrop, or eyes blown wide open, no dramatic gasp or faint (okay, that would be a stretch). It’s like he’s not even... “You’re not surprised,” Bram points out.

 

Simon smiles bigger. “No.”

 

“So you knew.”

 

Simon laughs. “Of course I knew. You’re my best friend. You think I wouldn’t recognize you ‘cuz you changed your voice? Very impressive trick, by the way.”

 

Now Bram is the one looking like a fool. He sputters, “But you... You never said anything.”

 

Simon shrugs. “You weren’t ready.” Like it’s that simple. Like Bram lying to him for months about something so fundamental to his being is a non-issue. Maybe Bram’s asleep and this has been one elaborate dream. There’s no way Simon is still standing in front of him, so sweet and forgiving. “Hey,” Simon soothes, stepping closer, closing the already small distance between them. “Why are you crying?”

 

He didn’t even notice. “I’m so sorry, Si,” spills out of him uninhibited. “I lied to you. I didn’t think... if you knew...”

 

“What?” Simon asks. “You didn’t think I would still like you if I knew you were you?” He laughs once incredulously. He brings his hands up and wipes Bram’s tears away with his thumbs, then holds his face. “You know, for supposedly being the smarter one, you really are an idiot.”

 

Bram laughs through the tears. “Am I?”

 

“Yep.” Simon strokes his face. “How could you not see how much I love you?”

 

A sob rips out of him, completely out of his control. He starts shaking his head for no particular reason. Simon stills him and forces him to make eye contact.

 

“Bram. I’ve known you’re the Flash. It doesn’t change anything. Well, maybe it just means I might be the safest citizen in the whole city.” Bram sniffs, smiles like he can’t help himself. “Doesn’t change how I feel about you. I kissed you because of my monster crush on both the Flash and my best friend. Lucky me that they’re the same guy, right?”

 

They just look at each other for a moment, both smiling stupidly. Simon waits, patiently. He’s shown his cards, and now it’s Bram’s move. And just that, that thoughtfulness that is so very Simon, reassures Bram one last time that there’s never been a choice. There was never an end to this story where Bram says no. And, he now realizes, there was never an end where Simon says no. This is their movie, and no matter where they strayed along the path, they were always going to end up together.

 

When Bram leans in to kiss Simon, there’s no guilt or confusion. There’s only a sigh of relief that could have come from either of them, and there’s love. So much love.

 

-

 

When Garrett finally calls Bram with news two hours later, Simon and Bram are still laying side by side on a blanket on the rooftop, talking easily and trading kisses like nothing has changed. And really, it hasn’t.

 

Still holding Simon’s hand, Bram reaches to tap his com with the other. “What is it?”

 

“Meta escaped from Iron Heights,” Garrett relays.

 

“On it.” He taps his com again to silence it. He turns his head to the side and looks at Simon. “Garrett.”

 

“I _knew_  it!”

 

“And Abby. And Leah and Nick.”

 

“ _Wow_.”

 

“Sorry,” Bram says, wincing.

 

“No, relax, it’s fine. Just... I want to join Team Flash so bad.” Simon is smiling, and Bram can’t help but mirror him.

 

“If you send in an application, I can promise one of my associates will look over it in 3-5 business days,” Bram teases, squeezing Simon’s hand. He really should be going after the bad guy, but he’s stupidly gay and in love.

 

“Sounds great. I have an impressive resume.”

 

“Yeah? Send me your references and we’ll see.”

 

“I think I'm a shoe-in. Someone on Team Flash likes me.”

 

Bram giggles, leans in to kiss Simon on the nose. He sits up before Simon can keep him there any longer. “Gotta go.”

 

Simon sits up with him, letting go of his hand reluctantly. “Run, Bram. Run.”

 

And he does.

**Author's Note:**

> walkfire.tumblr.com


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